My Savior
When there’s nothing left, your whole life has turned upside-down and inside-out, and you’re struggling, what do you do? When there’s nothing left, there’s no where to turn, and you feel like you have nothing to live for anymore, where do you go. Everybody hates you, or so it seems.
I know the feeling. And I know I’m not the only one that’s had it before. I felt like I had lost everything at one point in my life, and it hurt, it really hurt. I hated everything, I even hated myself. I didn’t want to press on. I really didn’t.
I was even considering a few things I shouldn’t have been. Seriously. It was bad. My world was broken. But then I remembered something. The spark that “lit the fire” if you will was was just a line. Nothing more, nothing less.
Everything’s going to crash and break, but I know.
Skillet from “Savior” off of Collide
When I (accidentally, really) met the lead singer of Skillet a few weeks before this happened, I had no idea that this is what would change me. I told him his music had impacted my life. But what happened after I told him that very line was absolutely the turning point in my life.
Then I remembered my favorite verse. This got to me.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39
This lead me to conclusion A: There’s someone who understands what I’m going through, who understands how it hurts. There’s someone who knew that everything was going to crash and break in my life, but he wasn’t. There’s someone who’s love is greater than anything else, and that nothing can separate me from.
Thanks to my Bible teacher (who was one of those people who really impacted my life), I started to check myself, which got me to thinking. And I got to conclusion B: All of the things that were affecting me hurt. They hurt more than anything. They were these things that I took personally, and I finally figured it out. Some force was using them against me. And I was letting it happen.
So what did I do? I prayed. I prayed constantly, and never let up. To some, my attitude changed. For that matter, inside of me, my whole life changed. I felt different.
One of my coaches put it a certain way. You could say that “the fire” inside of me, that desire, that true motivation, and that passion really started to come out of me. I finally found what I loved the most, and that’s doing this. That is making sure other people who might have been going through what I went through don’t make the same mistakes as me.
Call it what you want, but I know what I believe, I know what I have faith in - My Savior.
Comments
Paul Hillsdon had a thought ¬
I strongly believe every person goes through deep soul searching periods during extreme times of change, whether that is through the teenage years or the so-called “mid-life crisis”. What I find interesting is that I also, at one time, felt quite down, and did a lot of thinking for a long time. Not once did I presume the thoughts and processes of my brain, and the actions of my free will, were determined by some supernatural creator and supervisor of all things. Now, I’m not against spirituality and “connecting with one’s inner soul”, something like the teachings of buddhism. However, just the concept of “prayers” and “god” helping one through one’s problem seems absurd to me. All you are doing is talking to yourself, no different that what I did. Except, once things got worked through, you thought it was because god helped you, rather than you overcome hardship on your own.
⇒ July 1, 2007, 9:18 pm